No Longer Resilient: I Choose Joy as a Black Trans Woman

Challenging Resilience: A Black Trans Woman's Journey Towards Joy

By: Serena Sonoma

I'm done being resilient.

The words echo in my soul, a defiance born of exhaustion. For me, a Black trans woman navigating a world designed to diminish me, resilience isn't a virtue, it's a survival tactic. A shield I've been forced to wield, its weight growing heavier with each passing day. I am weary of its cold embrace, of the constant vigilance, the ceaseless battle for a sliver of peace.

This world, it tells me softness is a luxury I haven't earned. That my Blackness, my transness, are disqualifiers in a game rigged against me. It's a message woven into the fabric of systemic oppression, a symphony of microaggressions, each one a sting reminding me: "You are not worthy."

But here's the truth resilience has choked out of me: I am tired. Not just physically, though my spirit aches with the exhaustion of a thousand battles fought in the shadows. It's a deeper fatigue, a weariness that settles in your bones, a knowing that clinging to strength alone is slowly eroding my soul.

So, I choose a different path. I choose joy.

This isn't naivete, nor is it surrender. It is an act of defiance, a reclamation of my birthright to experience the full spectrum of human emotion. To laugh without reservation, to cry without apology, to find moments of grace in the midst of chaos. To allow myself the radical act of simply being, without armor or pretense.

This is my soft rebellion. A revolution waged not with fists or fury, but with the quiet insistence of a heart refusing to be silenced. It is the audacity to envision a future where Black trans women are not defined by their trauma, but by their boundless capacity for joy and love. It is a future I invite you to build with me, one gentle breath, one shared moment of joy at a time.